One week until my due date, meaning our little girl could be here any minute.
Do we have enough clothes? Enough bottles? Blankets and burp rags? I don’t even remember what all we need for my hospital bag. What are we going to do after she’s here? What is life even like with 2 kids? How are we going to make it?
HER CARSEAT IS STILL SITTING IN ITS BOX DOWNSTAIRS!
These were all of the questions and concerns I had last night during my minor- or maybe major- freak out and realization that this is it. She’s coming… and I’m not ready.
Okay, physically, I’m beyond ready. I’m ready to be able to bend over to pick up a toy without losing my breath. I’m ready to stop using the bathroom every 20 minutes. I’m ready for this constant back ache to go away.
But mentally.. emotionally.. I have a thousand things spinning around in my head. The constant worry of if I’m good enough to be a mom of two, when most days I haven’t even figured out how to be a mom of one. The fear of the unknown- will this birthing experience go as smoothly as my first? Will she be healthy? Will I be healthy? Will Oliver still feel the same love that he feels now? HOW ARE WE GOING TO MAKE IT?
The doubting, defeated, anxious Jordan started creeping back out. After months of trusting and believing in myself, in our family, in our Father, the negative and worst part of me came alive again.
In one week (or hopefully less) our lives are forever going to be changed once again. I’m still overwhelmed, terrified, and anxious, but I know that this is another blessing that God said we’re ready for. No matter what, there will be grace, joy and a whole lot of love in that room when our sweet Iris Joy arrives.
I will keep you all updated when that time comes, but until then, please be praying. Praying for a healthy delivery. Praying for our little girl and all that God has made her to be. Praying for our sweet boy, to keep his soft heart and stubborn attitude as his role of protector and helper begins. Praying for Drew and his worries about being a dad to a little girl be swept away with the first sight of her. And lastly, praying for me, that my heart and mind be overcome with all of Jesus’s grace, joy and love, that there is no doubt in my mind that THE BEST IS HERE. ✨