Iris means rainbow. A rainbow, to me, is a sign of hope and peace. Because rainbows appear at the end of rain. It’s a sign that the storm is over, and the light is about to shine again.
That meaning could not have been more perfect for our first week with our baby girl.
After two rounds of testing, Iris failed the hearing test in both ears. What does that mean? Well, we still don’t fully know. That’s the scary part; that’s the storm. The fear of the unknown.
This past week, after we found out that she had failed the first time and needed to come in again, I found myself praying, but not necessarily for healing. Because often times, when we pray for healing and it doesn’t happen, we start to doubt our God. We get bitter and angry and question why He isn’t healing. But whether He heals or not, He is still a good God. He still has a plan far better than I could ever have. Iris is still going to be the same beautiful, strong, smart girl that we had prayed for.
Instead, I prayed for peace. Peace for Drew and I to accept whatever outcome it may be. Peace to know that our little rainbow girl will conquer mountains and chase dreams on whatever path our God has paved for her.
Today, as I was sitting there waiting for her to be called back for testing, holding my precious little gal, that rainbow appeared. Iris had that milk drunk, half asleep, gigantic smirk on her face. That simple smile, that was my sign of hope. That was God’s precious peace washing over me.
Don’t get me wrong, as I left the hospital today, there were still tears shed. And there will be more breakdown moments as we continue to figure out what is going on. Because as parents, you never think this would happen to your kid. You expect your child to be perfectly healthy, happy, with everything working as it should. So when things don’t go as planned, when you find out something isn’t exactly perfect, you are filled with a mix of emotions, fear, and worry.
But as we continue on this journey of more testing, I will continue to stand firm in my little rainbow girl. Whether we go and find out she has 100% hearing, or has some sort of loss, I will remember that smirk, that sign of peace and hope, and know that she is going to continue to spread that to so many others. Because she is a child of God, and she is beautifully and wonderfully made.