My Why

Sometimes it takes a breakdown moment to remember why you started in the first place.

I had come to this feeling of doubt and defeat when it came to my blog. People were responding with love and encouragement, I was helping out those who needed it, and I was even gaining more followers everyday. But that still wasn’t enough for me. I wanted it to become so big that people would pay me to write for them. I wanted to provide an income for my family; I wanted to prove to everybody that if you “follow your dream”, you could do whatever you set your mind to. But that wasn’t happening.

And it’s because I lost My Why.

I didn’t start out this blog with the vision of income in mind. I didn’t start this blog to show people whats up or to prove all the doubters wrong.

I started this for the little girl who was so good at letting her voice be heard, but lost it throughout the years.

My little introverted self wanted people to be able to see what was on my heart, and God took off with it from there. He started placing His words into me. He made me see the little moments that became big. He knew that I could use my writing to help the ones who needed it most.

I started this blog to show grace. As a mother, a wife, daughter, friend, believer, I wanted to show that I needed grace everyday. I wanted to give out sweet, sweet grace like God gives freely out to us.

I started this blog to show joy. I wanted people to see that joy can be found in every little moment, in every journey, in whatever circumstance you’re in. Joy can overcome any negative mindset that’s not from God. Joy has the power to change your world, simply by letting it in.

I started this blog to show love. I wanted to love on a world that so badly needs it. I wanted to show that no matter who you are or what you’ve done, you are worthy of love. Loving on others like Jesus did was my goal from the start.

My Why wasn’t for ME. It was for the girl who was broken. To the mom who just needed a break. For the lost who needed to be found.

I know now that in order to keep My Why, I have to remember who started this and what the purpose was. I know now that as long as I keep Jesus in front and listen to His words, He will use me and bless me in whatever big or small plans He has.

Here comes My Why, part two.

-J

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