I’m in a weird part of life right now. 24 years old, married for 4 years with 2 kids. I’ve felt stuck for awhile; I haven’t really known my “place” in this world. I had known almost my whole life that I wanted to be a teacher. But when I did my first semester in college, something just wasn’t right. My head and heart just wasn’t there, and to be honest, I never could figure out why… until recently.
I have been working in second grade for the first time this year and I have fallen in love with this age group and kiddos. They have brought a new life into me that has been gone for so long. They make being away from my own kids okay. But finding this new love again has brought back that never ending question: why wasn’t I feeling this way 5 years ago? Why couldn’t I have done the “normal” route and just gone through college, start a family and my career. Heck, I could be a teacher right now if I had! It has been driving me almost insane just thinking about it.
Thinking back to that time, I remember feeling discouraged, incapable, and a deep fear of failure. I had let the enemy get to me and tell me that I wasn’t cut out for this. That I wouldn’t amount to anything so I might as well just give up. I wasn’t smart enough, loving enough, organized enough, creative enough. I wasn’t enough. I remember feeling that everyday until I finally let it win.
But not this time.
No, this time God has been reminding me everyday that I am MORE than enough. That He has placed this love for kids in my heart for a reason. And even if I’m not a teacher today, even if I don’t quite know when I will accomplish going back to school to become one, I am still MORE than enough. I am still more than capable to love and hug and high five and smile with every kid I come in contact with. It doesn’t matter what route I took. I am where I’m supposed to be and will continue on the path that He leads me down.
And I will be MORE than enough the entire way.